Summary of few months life

Yep am back from Japan backpacking trip.
Nothing much went through my mind before going there tho, i don't know why either.
It seemed like for this trip it differed much with my previous Taiwan trip. Can't really state out the exact difference but uhhuh it just felt different lol. Perhaps it's because i still haven fully mastered Japanese language yet, thus created a distance between me and the people there.
Sigh anyway i'm gonna start my uni really soon, I don't even know whether this is the right course to choose.
Spent so much recently..........................
I just can't bear to see my savings shrink so much omg. It shrunk anyway bye all my $$.
After Japan trip i bought a laptop for uni use, so yeah.
For Japan trip i have actually thought of opening up a new blog to write up about some of the details & perhaps guides but i'm so-so-so lazy to do it.
I had a dream the other night HAHAHA, a weird one.
In the dream i'm actually dating with an actor AHHAHAHAHA, and the actor is from the drama i watched recently.
Felt so real tho that i couldn't actually get over it after waking up lol.
I think i changed a lot throughout the year, which i don't really know it is for the best or not.
After a levels ended around last year nov, i started working in Dec to raise money for my Taiwan trip.
I ended my job few days before i went Taiwan, and prepared for the trip. But i was already preparing the trip while working in Dec, so mainly for the last few days before leaving for Taiwan i was just busy looking for some extra info.
Still, for Taiwan trip i did not actually prepared exact itinerary tho, even when i was there i still spent some time to research how to go here and there.
Just that for most of the days i have already booked hostels/couchsurf. Mmh, so i went Taiwan for about 16 days, came back around end of Jan, if i'm not mistaken it's around 22nd of Feb.
Then after rested a few days, i started looking for a job, since that i would actually have to wait for a few months before starting my degree course. So I found a job at TC, at first i applied for customer service, but there is no slot at the location i wanted, so they asked if i would be alright with the position of telemarketing, I accepted it and went for the interview.
It was kinda in a rush tho, if i'm not mistaken on the day i messaged that person, i went for the interview LOL.
And i have never really made a resume previously, so i just took some time to do some research online, made the resume kinda last minute, then went for the interview.
I didn't really prepare for the interview actually........but i saw online some people said that they will ask about your weakness, your positives sides, so in the train while going to the office i just try to figure something out.
In the end they did ask the question, so i just answered it, but i think i was a little bit nervous that time tho.
They also asked about stuff like, working here would be stressful as you need to do sales, how would you release stress stuffs like that.
I was interviewed twice, by two different leaders.
Of course, the second one who interviewed me became my leader hehe.
Previously i told them i will only be working there for three months tho, cause at first i thought my course would be starting in May.
Ended up i worked there for about half a year.
So yeah after the interview was done, the told me to wait for calls from them, they will let me know whether i'm employed or not.
I went for a walk at KLCC after the interview, and i received a call i think a few hours later, saying that i'm employed.
Can't really remember what I felt that time, but I think I didn't felt much HAHA just as per normal lolol.
Yea by then i started my second full time job.
In between i had a trip with my friend to Bangkok too, if i didn't went with her to Bangkok, i actually had plans of going to HK as my second solo trip tho.
But anyway i went Bangkok and had fun huhuhuhu.
Later, I found out that the air ticket to Japan was really cheap, so i bought it.
Sound so easy but i hesitated for quite some time also.
I worked really hard to save up all the money for my trips, no matter for Taiwan trip, Bangkok trip or Japan trip, for all of it i spent my own hard earned money.
So sometimes i would actually get a lil frustrated when people say that i spend my parents money or say that i'm rich.
Nope, sorry to disappoint you but no i do not spend my parents money for my trips and i'm not rich.
Previously during my Taiwan trip, i had a talk with a French girl, she also had people around her saying the same thing and disregarded all her hard work, she is kind of used to it already and said not to be bothered about it.
I guess i wouldn't be able to go for trip for quite some time, felt kinda sad T_T
For the 10 months working & travelling, i think i have lost contact with some of my close friends hahahah.
I was so busy that i didn't really put much effort to keep up with some of them............
My job ended on last day on Aug, then i had one day to pack up and some last minute preparation for my trip.
Flew over to Vietnam first, transited from there to Japan, so i had the most memorable, nope most unsecured day while sleeping in Vietnam airport.
Yes i slept in the airport, at some random window............................
Then i flew to Japan on the next morn, and came back to Vietnam for transit again.
Back home around mid of Sept, and rested for about 5 days i guess, and i started working AGAIN, for another part time job.
It is working hour tho, which is 9 to 5.
So early and i'm not a morning person T_T difficult life just to earn money sigh sigh.
The job ended few days ago, and now i'm preparing for my uni stuff, bank stuff, ptptn stuff and so much more to do.
Uni life will be starting in two weeks time tho, gotta do it faster.
Can't really say that i'm anticipating but not that i'm not looking forward for it but just, i left college for quite some time so yeahhhhhh nervous perhaps.
Wish me luck for the uni life, hope i wouldn't become some weird freak or meet some weird freak.
27/9/2016 Tue
凌晨 0353

過去。現在。未來

過去似乎很遙遠，現在似乎不夠真實，未來是否太接近。
也不知道最近自己的生活究竟是怎樣，就只是拼命的在做工賺錢，似乎初衷已不在。
那個地方，找不到屬於自己的位置，一個落腳地。
處於在一群認識的人之中，卻感到迷茫，慌亂，無助。
這也許就是孤單的感覺，就是身邊有一萬個認識的人，仍然沒有安全感。
甚至在那一瞬間完全迷失了自己，幾乎想自甘墮落。
有些時候我會想，遇見他以及不遇見他，我會選擇哪一個。
可是到頭來，這些飄渺無虛的東西根本不重要。
生活塌了一瞬間，但是現在已經回到原本的模樣。
但也許若干年後，有一天我會想起他，還有那些令我迷茫的時光，還有帶我走出那段日子的人。
公司，同事。
我從很久很久很久以前就知道，朋友跟同事是不一樣的。
就如公事與私事是不一樣的。
所以也許就因為這樣，我不曾真正付出真心，結果自己被自己隔離了。
自己隔離了他們，然後自己覺得委屈。
我覺得人類真的很矛盾。
但是慢慢久而久之，我也是有感情的，也許現在算好點了吧。
介意與不介意其實沒什麼，只是事到如今也要明白什麼是捍衛自己，該如何捍衛自己了。
活著其實不容易，我知道世界上有很多很多很多人比我辛苦，比我不如意，比我慘。
只是我覺得有些時候情緒管理真的不能看一個人有多慘來決定的，一個一億富翁也許也是會擁有憂鬱症。
我的情緒真的有時候很起伏不定，當然不至於嚴重到自殘什麼的，那些對我來說太痛了..............
所以我還在學習，讓自己活得快樂點，至少情緒上不會那麼辛苦。
I love everyone who loves me.
我曾經很缺愛，就很缺愛咯想Paktoh lor誰叫我的荷爾蒙發作哈哈哈，但是現在對我來講這些其實真的nothing, it feels like nothing to me.
就現在完全沒有什麼感覺了，我覺得很像真的可以出家做尼姑了 how................
嗯就這樣廢話完了。
祝這個月 hit 到 sales 有 commission please 我需要3000塊 TT
話說我已經從台灣一個人的背包旅行回來啦，猜猜我的下一站是哪裡嘿嘿。

14/5/2016 Sat
凌晨 0447