Complicated feelings.

I have so much problems right now.
Too much that I couldn't even list all those problems out.
What's the problem with me?
I just hate myself. For my attitude, my selfishness.
Ok I shall talk about this problem/ feelings that I had.
Most probably no one will see this but still, it's better if no one sees this.
Urgh the sentence doesn't sound right but yeah who cares man. It's my blog. So I don't care.
Back to the topic.
Well I went to school yesterday and teacher gave tips.
Oh and my friends didn't come to school, they stayed at home to study.
I have this not to give them the tips feeling because they chose not to come to school, and that's not my prob right? Right?
But this makes me look selfish. I shouldn't be selfish. At first I thought of giving them but my partner said aiya don't give them la since they stayed home to study. Their loss.
So I changed my mind and decided not to give them the tips.
But I felt guilty oh noooo.
So yeahhhhh
我就是一个很自私的人唉
Stilllllllllll urgh.
Maybe I'll give them, maybe. If I'm in a good mood & have alot of time to type/ take a pic of it and send them.
Most probably I will cause I didn't want to spoil our friendship just because of the tips lol.
Trials is on Monday. Omg few more days to go.

Should jump off from the building cause I didn't study much.
Ohgodsaveme. :(

Actually I missed you quite alot.
Oh and I hate being ignored :(
Can you try not to ignore me? Sigh sigh

And sibeh angry and stuff cause they didn't reply me didn't reply DIDN'T REPLY ME
WHY CAN'T YOU GUYS BE MORE UNDERSTANDING
I'LL BE HAVING TRIALS IN FEW MORE DAYS BUT YOU GUYS WANT ME TO CALL YOU ONE-BY-ONE.
DAMN I'M FED UP. 怨念。
DON'T MAKE ME HATE YOU GUYS.
DON'T MAKE ME LEAVE.
HOW MANY TIMES YOU GUYS WANT TO DISAPPOINT ME?
So sick of it.
Cmon you guys are not 3 yrs old kid.
Please la dude just reply me can ahh. Wth. Feel like swearing @(&:_)=$;;&::_

我很生气，后果很严重。
很讨厌你们很讨厌很讨厌我不要回去不要回去了不要不要回去看到你们我就生气很生气你们去吃大便please吃大便 很讨厌你们不珍惜我只珍惜她到头来明明就我做得很多她不会主动去做然后我很不爽但是她看起来很好人我又不敢摊开来说我真差劲之前我就知道你的态度很有问题了想不到在后面真的那样讲我们妈的如果我们全都走了我看你们办什么营鸡蛋糕啦你我们还不是为你好就不能尝试去了解吗你很有问题每次都这样。

离。

我不擅长说话。
不擅长交际。
也根本不想要说话。只是被迫说话而已。
为了生存。
仅仅一个能够让我表达自我的地方。
我觉得变了。
我开始在乎，那就代表我在乎了。
那我就不会做自己了。
说话也要三思。
我不喜欢。
同时依恋着那里，怎么办？
过分那两个字烙印在我的心中。
嗯。
我不喜欢解释。因为没有人会明白。没有人会理解。
亦或那不是对我说的，但是我心中是这样对着自己说的。
只是不停的掩盖，再掩盖。以为遗忘了，结果根本没有。
既然决定了。
那我就消失吧。但终究还是需要时间来沉淀下来，悄悄的离去。
再等待他的到来。
我不想要他发现我心中最深的想法。
我不想让他知道我任何事情。
我，讨厌。
我不想要让他看见我懦弱的样子。
而选择了。
逃避。呵呵。
我很烂，我不否认。
毕竟那是事实。
我不是一个好人。我很自私没错。
我很假也没错。
总之我是个烂人。
所以不要靠近我。因为你会变烂。

我，悄悄的走了。
那微微的不舍，
无视。
遗忘。
我行的。也许我会回去。
但暂时不会再。
不见。祝我预考加油。一个人，没什么不好的。

月

今天在学海的新人王那里看到一篇文。
哈哈内容令我很感兴趣，因为她提到月。
她说的是关于认识到这个叫月的人之类的东西。
真的很好奇她说的是不是幻月 (砸 好吧是我很八卦 ==
然后她还说到是在网络上认识的我就更怀疑是了呵呵。
再来她说根本不知性别名字年龄嗯我觉得更可能了 嘿嘿。
所以总结的神马我不懂。
纯粹来说说而已w
原谅我的八卦精神唉。

迷惘。

我觉得你真的很像他。
很像，很像。
像得我差点，就把你当成他了。
事实便是，也许我真的有把你当成他的时候吧。
只是我不曾发现或尝试去发现。
也许就是那么盲目的在逃避。
不停的逃避。
我知道他已经不可能再成为当初我心中的那个他了。
我就把你当成代替品，替代他在我心中的地位。又或者你仅仅是我想把他留下而。我不知该怎么说。
就是哪怕是一点点的影子。我也想留下。
我是不是很坏？
所以我小心翼翼的不让你知道。
因为我懂你会伤得很深，很深。
深得也许你会离去然后永远都不理我。
你的心也很脆弱。我懂。
又或者我不曾懂。
若我懂，我就不会那样了啊。
可能你不曾用心。
可是我知道被当成替代品还是会很伤的吧。
不过我只能说。
我不会伤害你的。绝对不会。
也许有时诺言并不可信。
我会让你相信的。

我很坏，是吧？
我不曾是个好人。
只是他们一味地把我放入好人的范围里。
我根本不是。
也没有资格成为。
好人。

有些话，我不想说。

嗯话说收到了呢。还以为会流失的说 (砸
呵呵。现在看看谁的先来吧w

Lost.

Kind of lost right now.
No matter in friends, studies or the other aspects.
I'm afraid cause I'm becoming the second her. Maybe.
The one who purposely make friends with popular people.
I really do hate those kind of people so I don't wanna become one of them.
Sigh.
Trials is around the corner but I have not started studying at all.
And I just came back from camp yesterday.
How. Left two weeks only.
Can I manage to finish all the syllables? Oh god I'm so worried.
Save me.
Ishouldhavelistentowhatmydadsaid.
Feel like crying.
What if I fail my add maths in trials?
Urghh.
Regretted but I guess it's kind of late already.
:( :'( :/ TT
Shall start studying today.
But I have to finish all my work first. Again. haihhh.

And I haven't received my letter yet.
Was so excited yesterday that when I came home I thought there might be a letter for me.
But too bad excitements gone and disappointments came...
Still waiting. :)
Heh.

With lots of love,

angie hui mei

兴奋的我

呵呵
好久没update 了。
现在才明白你讲的话==
原来你来看过我的部落格，对不？
但愿我没有理解错误 xD
信出乎意料的快到 w
哈哈 你告诉我的时候我对着荧幕不停的傻笑
很像个疯子 (砸
幸亏没有人进我的房间，不然一定送我去tanjung rambutan LOL
总之就是很开心啦。
很久没有酱开心了。真的。
嘿嘿 期待你的回信喔。
觉得你的笔迹应该美我的很多吧==

不知道你会不会看到这个post哈哈。xD 为了你update 我的blog是否觉得很感动 w

当然我也要说说别的事。:p
Finally it's gonna be over, I think.
Well that's what I THINK.
But most probably it won't be over, that's what happens everytime.
Didn't get to go for outing with friends, again.
Kind of, sad. Okay maybe not. Idk.
Because have to go for camp sigh.
Daddy is going outstation AGAIN.
It's somehow quite sad but it's actually a good news LOL.
Cause he will be leaving on Thursday and my camp is on Friday lol.
It's just like the huazong thingy haha. At first he don't really let but he went to china xD
And I ended up sleeping over at ah weng house. That's what my dad always membantah hahhhaha.
Trial is coming really soon.
Obviously, I'm not prepared AT ALL. Sad case.
I can imagine my results for add maths already.
Whyyy is add maths so damn tough. Okay actually it's my fault, I have never did any exercise for add math :p

Too tired to continue. Nights :D
Can't wait to receive the letter heheeheh weeeeeeeee imma happy girl.