Everything is new.

So much to do, yet not much time left.
Wasted a lot of time doing nothing for past few weeks/months and I'm regretting it now.
Sigh college gonna start in a week, or probably two weeks time.
Gotta pack my stuff and bring it to hostel on 28th April, or latest by that weekend.
Since I'm moving to a new house I had to pack all my stuff too.
I've already stayed in this house for 17 years!
And now I had to move to a new house :(
Kinda 不舍得 cause I really love my house it's comfy and nice and everything is awesome yoooo.
But too bad the bad bad bad 屋主 forced us to move out since they wanna renovate it.
So yeah daddy mommy bought a new house and we gotta move into that house latest by this month.
Because the 屋主 gonna kick us out if we don't, HAH.
But seriously my room in the new house is superbly small I can't even have a proper table in my room.
Don't even have space to walk.
Serious shit.
My sis and brother they had a bigger room. Whyyyyyyy
Oh nooooo there's so much to pack how am I supposed to pack it within a week T_T
And the famine 30 thingy I started to have stuff to do ohno.
Oh yeah I think I didn't mention it before that I got the assistant secretary post.
Yeah I got it. Though a little disappointed that I didn't get the secretary post, but I'm still grateful that I got chosen for assistant sec. :)
Get a new partner and as always, gotta tolerate with people.
Luckily the partner had experience because she was the secretary for another famine 30 camp last year.
Yayz, imma lucky kid hohoho

I gotta mention something really unlucky that happened to me!
Some random bee came and stung me in MY ROOM.
It hurts so much and I was so shocked and afraid so I burst into tears right after I called my daddy.
Oops sorry might sounds abit kiddy but yeah I'm frigging afraid of insects.
And I was scared that the bee is poisonous or smth.
Hahaha. But yeah I'm still alive so it doesn't have poison I guess.
It was pretty scary though.
Luckily I survived! Yay but it's kinda embarrassing because after so many years it was somehow my first time crying infront of my parents. Or family.
Hahahaha.

I tried to read the A levels syllabus but oh well I couldn't understand a single shit yay.
My English was too weak to understand those shit...........
What to do sigh. Otoke? :(
Oops too much Korean dramas hahah.
And I think I had to get the A levels text books by myself LOL.
But seriously idk where or who would sell it sigh.
Someone sell it to me please?
But I heard that the text books are kinda expensive, around 100++ for one.
Ahhhhhhh so much problems.
I think I should get a new specs already my eyesight are getting worse omg.
College gonna start but I'm not prepared for it.
I'm not prepared for anything.
I saw his photo, well I didn't expect to see it though.
Was a little relieved hahaha but it doesn't matters to me anymore.
Used to matter, but now no.

Nights, gotta sleep now. ♡

22/4/2014 Tue
凌晨 0122

Define friends.

I used to thought that she would be the one after her.
But obviously not.
What I thought stays as what I thought, it didn't become real.
When did we met? Probably when we was in form 3, in the same class.
I was never close with her during form 3, I had my own gang and our seats were kinda far away.
Until then, we became classmates again during form 4.
It shocked me when she posted on my wall saying that she's excited to be in the same class with me again and stuffs.
Cause we were never close.
So we started as friends and became closer and closer.
In two years time, we became close friends, but we don't really talk about our real problems or secrets.
We just hang out together and have fun, but not heart to heart talk.
We actually had our heart to heart talk this year.
Just few weeks ago.
She talks about her ex, I talk about my so called love story HAH.
Talk about studies, friends and stuff.
I started thinking, probably she would be my second closest friend.
Until today we had a fight.
It wasn't a big deal actually.
I was never someone's first choice.
And I was mad at her because she had to dump us, and goes out with her friends.
It's not literally dump, but to me still it's because we are her second choice, so she decided to go out with her friends than going out with us.
She was angry and mad at the word 'dump' that I used it to describe her action.
Oh well, it's your choice to go out with anyone you want, I can't control you.
I just somehow felt kinda sad.
Probably because of this fight we would stop talking or something?
Way too emotional these days.
I wasn't really mad at her for choosing her friends than us.
I was just a little unhappy.
Because cases like this always happen to me.
Such a sad case.

Maybe I should think what have I done wrong. Karma maybe?
Nah doesn't matter anymore.

Gonna take my spm results tomorrow. Wish me luck!
I really do need alot of luck.
Straight As would be kinda impossible for me to get it. Sigh.

Sometimes when I need someone to talk to, you're not there.

梦醒了。

做了两个月的工。
前面一个月都浑浑噩噩的这样过了。同时很开心。
到了二月，突然什么都变了。
只是不懂得。罢了。
跟学记去了适耕庄。嗯自己看海的感觉其实不错。
感觉整个世界就剩下了我一个人。
骑了脚踏车。虽然过马路那些一直感觉好像自己会车祸那样的事最后还是活着回来了。
回来之后跟同事的关系依然如此的好。
只是这一两个星期突然发现所谓的美好不过是个假象。
我第一个月总是在想，这样的生活似乎太美好了。
美好得毫无瑕疵，似乎是个梦。
结果就在这第二个月我就梦醒了。
瞬间一切一切都变坏了。
适耕庄回来发现他们似乎拍拖了？...
算了也不可能再那么常见面了。
然后对于你我也不懂算是什么所以我也不知道要怎样所以也就这样。
一个星期前同事突然告诉我另一个同事（跟我很好的还给了她年饼的LOL ）背后说不喜欢我。
那个时候觉得还好只是有点伤心因为明明跟我那么好的人竟然这样。
好双面。
之后再发生偷窃事件就觉得无语无奈无言。
同事之间为什么要勾心斗角。
为什么要每句话都带根刺。
为什么要前面好好后面就多多话。
为什么会有这种没良心好朋友都出卖的人。（听说同事跟另一个同事的东西）
瞬间觉得社会太可怕，太恶心了。
有必要闹到这样的场面吗？
我天天上班都要对着他们笑我觉得好辛苦。
我不懂他们哪一句话是真的，哪一句话是假的。
每次说话要小心翼翼好辛苦。我不懂谁可以信任。
我爸说这个是给我训练。
不是很想要这样的训练。我可以不要出社会吗？
好可怕。

It's like a drama.
I can't seem to trust anyone & i have no idea who should i trust.
Why did all these happened?
Those people which i used to trust, close to, became those people that talked bad about me.
And so i wont regret for my decision to quit this job.
I gotta learn to be strong.
Soon everything will be alright. Hopefully.

Nights :)

27/2/2014 Thu
半夜 0018

信任。

说实话我有点惊讶于你的变化==
好吧从一开始来说我真的不明白你要表达的是什么。可能我真的是迟钝==++
我很犹豫那是否只是我自己想太多，因为我们的交集貌似称不上多？
只是到后来你整个人的说话语调变了，一直刺刺的。
你说的话太深奥了我要想很久才可以回复 /.\
也许我没有经历过你所经历的所以我没有什么资格说什么。
有时候不是每个人都是坏，都是虚假，都是不能信的。
我也是不会轻易去信任别人的一个人。只是我是为了保护自己。
我会选择去相信一两个我觉得可以去信任的人，然后告诉他/她我的想法/秘密等等。
如果他/她背叛了我，我会对自己说，那是一个成长的时候会经历的过程。
我没有说我不信任你，同时我没有说过我信任你。
因为我还不知道你是否是那一个我可以全心全意去信任的人。
我希望也许有一天你真的能去感受别人对你的好，即使只是一个微笑。
我不是一个很好的人，我很自私我很霸道很任性很固执很麻烦偶尔很虚假。
就如你说的每个人都有必要虚假的时刻，我也是这样。
但是我不会随意去伤害任何一个人，这是我的承诺。
信不信由你。
也许你会很不屑于我所说的，不过这些是我的真心话。
说不要对号入座但是我还是呃想对号入座一次
如果真的只是过客我会很敷衍或者很干脆的不回复你。也不会在犹豫许久后打了这篇呃我不觉得你会看的东东。

莫名的。

预考了将近一个星期。

还是没有那种在考试的感觉。

我怎么了？不懂，真的不懂。

昨晚熬夜到4点。而且是2点多才开始读的。之前，就不说了。

都没再读。不停的告诉自己，这个考试很重要。

可是我究竟在做什么？我不懂。陷入了迷惘。

明天考华语。嗯。

说实话，到了部落那里看到太多文笔很好的人。

自以为文笔算是不错的我，发觉到其实我的文笔根本不值一提。

我不是一个很会表达自己的人。所以很容易让人误会。

但是我不喜欢用语言来伤人。

所以我很努力的，学习在表达。

Show encrypted text

福炎的信收到了。呵呵那种亲自拿着信的感觉真不同。

只是不知何时才会有时间回复。幻月我的信流失了吗？唉。

真的有种莫名的自卑。

看着那些文笔很好很好很好的人。

心中就会冒出一句话说，你那么差，根本不应该和他们有什么交集。

因为你，不配。

确实甭否认。我果然还是败了，败在自己的手里。

很努力的在压抑着那种感觉，很无措。

过于成熟的世界，不适合我吧。太过犀利的语言，我受不了。

我是个小孩，不想长大的小孩。

我只有一句话。

请不要忘了我，好吗？

默默的守着你，我不在意。

也许偶尔你会想起我。亦或者你不会记得我。

夜幕降临的时刻，是否会想起曾经的我们。

绵绵的雨，就如我，对你的思念。

对自己说声加油。晚安。

Complicated feelings.

I have so much problems right now.
Too much that I couldn't even list all those problems out.
What's the problem with me?
I just hate myself. For my attitude, my selfishness.
Ok I shall talk about this problem/ feelings that I had.
Most probably no one will see this but still, it's better if no one sees this.
Urgh the sentence doesn't sound right but yeah who cares man. It's my blog. So I don't care.
Back to the topic.
Well I went to school yesterday and teacher gave tips.
Oh and my friends didn't come to school, they stayed at home to study.
I have this not to give them the tips feeling because they chose not to come to school, and that's not my prob right? Right?
But this makes me look selfish. I shouldn't be selfish. At first I thought of giving them but my partner said aiya don't give them la since they stayed home to study. Their loss.
So I changed my mind and decided not to give them the tips.
But I felt guilty oh noooo.
So yeahhhhh
我就是一个很自私的人唉
Stilllllllllll urgh.
Maybe I'll give them, maybe. If I'm in a good mood & have alot of time to type/ take a pic of it and send them.
Most probably I will cause I didn't want to spoil our friendship just because of the tips lol.
Trials is on Monday. Omg few more days to go.

Should jump off from the building cause I didn't study much.
Ohgodsaveme. :(

Actually I missed you quite alot.
Oh and I hate being ignored :(
Can you try not to ignore me? Sigh sigh

And sibeh angry and stuff cause they didn't reply me didn't reply DIDN'T REPLY ME
WHY CAN'T YOU GUYS BE MORE UNDERSTANDING
I'LL BE HAVING TRIALS IN FEW MORE DAYS BUT YOU GUYS WANT ME TO CALL YOU ONE-BY-ONE.
DAMN I'M FED UP. 怨念。
DON'T MAKE ME HATE YOU GUYS.
DON'T MAKE ME LEAVE.
HOW MANY TIMES YOU GUYS WANT TO DISAPPOINT ME?
So sick of it.
Cmon you guys are not 3 yrs old kid.
Please la dude just reply me can ahh. Wth. Feel like swearing @(&:_)=$;;&::_

我很生气，后果很严重。
很讨厌你们很讨厌很讨厌我不要回去不要回去了不要不要回去看到你们我就生气很生气你们去吃大便please吃大便 很讨厌你们不珍惜我只珍惜她到头来明明就我做得很多她不会主动去做然后我很不爽但是她看起来很好人我又不敢摊开来说我真差劲之前我就知道你的态度很有问题了想不到在后面真的那样讲我们妈的如果我们全都走了我看你们办什么营鸡蛋糕啦你我们还不是为你好就不能尝试去了解吗你很有问题每次都这样。

Lost.

Kind of lost right now.
No matter in friends, studies or the other aspects.
I'm afraid cause I'm becoming the second her. Maybe.
The one who purposely make friends with popular people.
I really do hate those kind of people so I don't wanna become one of them.
Sigh.
Trials is around the corner but I have not started studying at all.
And I just came back from camp yesterday.
How. Left two weeks only.
Can I manage to finish all the syllables? Oh god I'm so worried.
Save me.
Ishouldhavelistentowhatmydadsaid.
Feel like crying.
What if I fail my add maths in trials?
Urghh.
Regretted but I guess it's kind of late already.
:( :'( :/ TT
Shall start studying today.
But I have to finish all my work first. Again. haihhh.

And I haven't received my letter yet.
Was so excited yesterday that when I came home I thought there might be a letter for me.
But too bad excitements gone and disappointments came...
Still waiting. :)
Heh.

With lots of love,

angie hui mei

兴奋的我

呵呵
好久没update 了。
现在才明白你讲的话==
原来你来看过我的部落格，对不？
但愿我没有理解错误 xD
信出乎意料的快到 w
哈哈 你告诉我的时候我对着荧幕不停的傻笑
很像个疯子 (砸
幸亏没有人进我的房间，不然一定送我去tanjung rambutan LOL
总之就是很开心啦。
很久没有酱开心了。真的。
嘿嘿 期待你的回信喔。
觉得你的笔迹应该美我的很多吧==

不知道你会不会看到这个post哈哈。xD 为了你update 我的blog是否觉得很感动 w

当然我也要说说别的事。:p
Finally it's gonna be over, I think.
Well that's what I THINK.
But most probably it won't be over, that's what happens everytime.
Didn't get to go for outing with friends, again.
Kind of, sad. Okay maybe not. Idk.
Because have to go for camp sigh.
Daddy is going outstation AGAIN.
It's somehow quite sad but it's actually a good news LOL.
Cause he will be leaving on Thursday and my camp is on Friday lol.
It's just like the huazong thingy haha. At first he don't really let but he went to china xD
And I ended up sleeping over at ah weng house. That's what my dad always membantah hahhhaha.
Trial is coming really soon.
Obviously, I'm not prepared AT ALL. Sad case.
I can imagine my results for add maths already.
Whyyy is add maths so damn tough. Okay actually it's my fault, I have never did any exercise for add math :p

Too tired to continue. Nights :D
Can't wait to receive the letter heheeheh weeeeeeeee imma happy girl.