Complicated feelings.

I have so much problems right now.
Too much that I couldn't even list all those problems out.
What's the problem with me?
I just hate myself. For my attitude, my selfishness.
Ok I shall talk about this problem/ feelings that I had.
Most probably no one will see this but still, it's better if no one sees this.
Urgh the sentence doesn't sound right but yeah who cares man. It's my blog. So I don't care.
Back to the topic.
Well I went to school yesterday and teacher gave tips.
Oh and my friends didn't come to school, they stayed at home to study.
I have this not to give them the tips feeling because they chose not to come to school, and that's not my prob right? Right?
But this makes me look selfish. I shouldn't be selfish. At first I thought of giving them but my partner said aiya don't give them la since they stayed home to study. Their loss.
So I changed my mind and decided not to give them the tips.
But I felt guilty oh noooo.
So yeahhhhh
我就是一个很自私的人唉
Stilllllllllll urgh.
Maybe I'll give them, maybe. If I'm in a good mood & have alot of time to type/ take a pic of it and send them.
Most probably I will cause I didn't want to spoil our friendship just because of the tips lol.
Trials is on Monday. Omg few more days to go.

Should jump off from the building cause I didn't study much.
Ohgodsaveme. :(

Actually I missed you quite alot.
Oh and I hate being ignored :(
Can you try not to ignore me? Sigh sigh

And sibeh angry and stuff cause they didn't reply me didn't reply DIDN'T REPLY ME
WHY CAN'T YOU GUYS BE MORE UNDERSTANDING
I'LL BE HAVING TRIALS IN FEW MORE DAYS BUT YOU GUYS WANT ME TO CALL YOU ONE-BY-ONE.
DAMN I'M FED UP. 怨念。
DON'T MAKE ME HATE YOU GUYS.
DON'T MAKE ME LEAVE.
HOW MANY TIMES YOU GUYS WANT TO DISAPPOINT ME?
So sick of it.
Cmon you guys are not 3 yrs old kid.
Please la dude just reply me can ahh. Wth. Feel like swearing @(&:_)=$;;&::_

我很生气，后果很严重。
很讨厌你们很讨厌很讨厌我不要回去不要回去了不要不要回去看到你们我就生气很生气你们去吃大便please吃大便 很讨厌你们不珍惜我只珍惜她到头来明明就我做得很多她不会主动去做然后我很不爽但是她看起来很好人我又不敢摊开来说我真差劲之前我就知道你的态度很有问题了想不到在后面真的那样讲我们妈的如果我们全都走了我看你们办什么营鸡蛋糕啦你我们还不是为你好就不能尝试去了解吗你很有问题每次都这样。

迷惘。

我觉得你真的很像他。
很像，很像。
像得我差点，就把你当成他了。
事实便是，也许我真的有把你当成他的时候吧。
只是我不曾发现或尝试去发现。
也许就是那么盲目的在逃避。
不停的逃避。
我知道他已经不可能再成为当初我心中的那个他了。
我就把你当成代替品，替代他在我心中的地位。又或者你仅仅是我想把他留下而。我不知该怎么说。
就是哪怕是一点点的影子。我也想留下。
我是不是很坏？
所以我小心翼翼的不让你知道。
因为我懂你会伤得很深，很深。
深得也许你会离去然后永远都不理我。
你的心也很脆弱。我懂。
又或者我不曾懂。
若我懂，我就不会那样了啊。
可能你不曾用心。
可是我知道被当成替代品还是会很伤的吧。
不过我只能说。
我不会伤害你的。绝对不会。
也许有时诺言并不可信。
我会让你相信的。

我很坏，是吧？
我不曾是个好人。
只是他们一味地把我放入好人的范围里。
我根本不是。
也没有资格成为。
好人。

有些话，我不想说。

嗯话说收到了呢。还以为会流失的说 (砸
呵呵。现在看看谁的先来吧w

Taken for granted.

I'm always taken for granted.
No matter where i am. Societies or groups or anything.
Nobody seems to appreciate me. Okay maybe not all of them.
But still, don't you think it's kind of disappointing that you gave all you have but people don't give a shit about you. I'm not blaming. Maybe you think i'm, but i'm not.
I'm just trying to state the fact that people just won't learn to appreciate.
Even me myself don't really learn how to appreciate.
I'm still trying to learn. Someday maybe they lost what they have, they/I might learn to appreciate.
Still. I'm kind of disappointed with them. Always.
I thought they might change their attitude but apparently they won't.
They don't even give a shit about what i said, i guess?
Seriously. I hope they won't make me way to fed up till i have no choice but to leave.
Leave them.. Hmm. Idk. I have always wanted to be a responsible person.
But no a person to be taken for granted.
I have such a busy life. That i don't even have the time to finish my homework and stuff.
I felt so sick of this life man.
Always have to do this and that. Meeting here and there.
Uncountable work to do. Serious shit? But people are skipping meeting here and there.
Hah, i'm speechless man. Dude, you should seriously do what you should be doing.
Kay i shall skip to the other topic.
I think people should think before they speak. Before they started to scream and scold and blame people.
You should see, if you are really THAT responsible when you're scolding the others.
Hmm. It's not for me to judge. But, that's what i see.
Kind of disappointed with le friend. Or maybe i have already given up fighting.
Sigh. Such a pitiful life i have.
Dad said he's gonna stop me from going out next month. Lol.
I guess it's a good thing? At least someone could control me. And i would have a reason not to go.
For ALL the activities. Time to stop i guess.
Orelse i don't think i would have time to study for SPM.
抱歉，我不曾拥有归属感。
Just wanna say this out. What's in my heart.
Because they never cared. Why should i give a * damn then.
I'm not an angel or robot. I still do have feelings.
The moment my anger reach the highest point, that's it.
It's over. Don't ever try to cross my limits.
Oh and i'm going for marching for the sports day this year ^^v
Muahaha. Although i don't really know how to march but, can't wait for it.
Kinda nervous :p
And btw, i saw my ex campers during the xueji camp this year :D
Heheh took photo with 'em. Damn happy when i saw them.

Nights.

xoxo. -imperfections-

Stin-ston-stan. RANDOM.

Actually i don't really know what's stin-ston-stan.
Just randomly wrote it ahahaha.
Busy days. :(
How i wish i would have time to do what i really want to do.
AHHH.
Need to type letters again. So annoying lol.
But it's okay since it's my job.
Debate competition.
The judge said something.
And it hurts alot, really a lot.
I rather not to get that one mark, than listen to your bullshits.
Don't you think it hurts?
I seriously don't understand what were you thinking.
Gonna leave everything behind and forget bout it.
Not going for accounts tuition anymore.
Hope that i could catch up. Like for seriously. :/

Loveess,

angie hui mei.

♥